Tallstar Advertizes Archery Classes
Hello! Tis me, BC! This is the *counts* FOURTH Tallstar Advertizes spoof! :D For this spoof, Tallstar is advertizing his... *Drumroll* ARCHERY CLASS! Enjoy! Voice-Over: Welcome to Tall- Tallstar: I THOUGHT I FIRED YOU LAST TIME! Voice-Over: You signed a contract saying that you can't fire me! Tallstar: *Holds up contract* Oh, you mean this one? *Shreds it into tiny molocules* Voice-Over: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Dissapears* Tallstar: Now, then... Welcome, everycat! You can now take my epical ARCHERY class for 15 peices of prey and half your thyme! Mudclaw: *Whispers* Psst! Cloudstep! Do you have something I can throw? Cloudstep: *In a loud voice* Do I have something you can throw? Nope, I don't, sorry! Tallstar: AHEM! Mudclaw! Remember what happened last time? *Reaches for hammer* Mudclaw: AAAAHHHH! I MUST FLEE! *Runs out the door, but then pokes his head back in* And Cloudstep, your apology is NOT ACCEPTED. *Runs away again* Cloudstep: Apology not accepted.... does not compute... will now self destruct! *Blows up* Tallstar: *Ignores* You'll learn how to aim at a target correctly, pick arrows wisely and to ALWAYS shoot with precise accuracy! *Grabs Daisy, yanks her onstage, and chains her to a board with an apple on her head* Remember, Daisy, you just need to stay still. I'll shoot for the apple, not you. Daisy: *Is hypnotised* Kumquats! Tallstar: I'll take that as a yes! *Shoots the apple off her head, with the rest of her fur, leaving only one strip of fur on her head, like a mowhawk) Cloudstep: GAH! What is that ghastly thing? Daisy: Bacon Flowers! *Runs off the stage* Tallstar: It's so easy, WILLOWPELT CAN DO IT! *Lets Willowpelt out of her quarentine box, all hyped up on energy drinks dressed in a monkey suit* CARROT HONEY! I NAMED A MONKEY BAHAHAHAHA! *Grabs a bow and arrow* Audience: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Willowpelt: *Causes destruction everywhere by shooting arrows* Tallstar: And we'll continue after this quick message! *Camera stays on* I SAID, GO TO A COMMERCIAL!!!!! *white noise/TV static* CHUCK C MEOWIES COMMERCIAL *Starring Vee* Vee: If YOUR family needs to bond, come to Chuck C. Meowies! It's a friendly, clean, safe place to come! Honeyrose: I need a special place to take my kits to! Vee: Then there's no better place than Chuck C. Meowies! *Opens the door to the building. Screaming, crying, and mean laughter is heard. Greasy pizza is everywhere and things are flying. It smells terrible.* Honeyrose: *Whispers* BC, what was my line again? BC: It was "Oh, wow! This is a great place to spend the day with my kids!" Honeyrose: Oh, wow! This is a great place to spend the day with my kids! Ravenkit: No, mommy! I don't want to go in there! Big meanie cats are in there beating up kits! Riverkit: Yea! And those dancing animatronic cats are creepy! Ravenkit: And it smells like cheap plastic arcade prizes! Honeyrose: Um.... Well, now, we don't want to beat it until we try it. Both kits: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Are shoved in against their will* Vee: Come to Chuck C. Meowies today! You can also reserve a Birthday party here to! *Kit comes out screaming* THE HOBO CAT IN THE COSTUME SAID HE WANTS TO HUG ME ALL DAY! Vee: O_O' *Closes door* Come to Chuck C. Meowies, where a kit can be a kit! ON WITH THE ADVERTIZEMENT *There are only 3 cats left-Kalestreak, Heatgaze, and Hazeltail* Tallstar: And you can even make your OWN bow and arrow, like this one I made! *Holds up a crappy wooden bow and arrow. Fires arrows at all three cats, and knocks them out like bowling pins* Tallstar: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! COME AGAIN! Police Guy:Tallstar, you're under arrest for hurting thousands of cats with a bow and arrow, for setting a hyper Willowpelt on the loose, and for using these cats' money for your own uses instead of donating it to charity! Tallstar: *Hops into a helicopter* YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPERS! MUAHAHAHAHA! *Flies away* THE END! He's psychotic, He's in the advertizement buisness And he's wanted by the police. And now, Everyone is wondering, WHAT WILL HE ADVERTIZE NEXT? '' ''.3. Category:Tallstar Advertises Category:Spoof